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Maynard said that as her and her peers grew up, many of them became "jaded" with their childhood values and consequently chose to make decisions contrary to those espoused by the purity culture."We were raised with the idea that says, 'Wait for God to bring you the one.' And 'Don't wait around, don't sleep around, and you'll kind-of get this reward,'" said Maynard."I think a lot of people who are dating in the Christian world, say late 20s, early 30s, they did 'the right thing.' They followed the system.
When Heather Lindsey moved to New York City in 2004 at the age of 22, the Michigan native both attended church regularly and considered herself a Christian.This data supports a 2011 Relevant Magazine poll that revealed that 80 percent of "young, unmarried Christians have had sex" and that "two-thirds have been sexually active in the last year."While the findings of a 2012 National Association of Evangelicals (NAE) and Grey Matter Research poll did not show outcomes as high as the two previous polls, according to its research, 44 percent of unmarried evangelicals between ages 18-29 said that they had sex, including 25 percent who said they had had sex in the last three months.Battling against the "purity culture"Emily Maynard, 28, a writer from Portland, Ore., has witnessed many of her friends rejecting abstinence, in what she interprets as them pushing back against the "purity culture," or the conservative sexual and dating norms with which they were raised."It's a family, church and social system that favors the idea of courtship.A majority of single Christians are rejecting biblical doctrine by choosing to have sex before they are married.Sixty-one percent of self-identified Christian singles who answered a recent Christian Mingle survey said they are willing to have casual sex without being in love, while only 11 percent said they are waiting to have sex until they are married.But while in college, Lindsey "gave her heart to Christ." There, for the first time, she became convicted that premarital sex is wrong.
But despite this realization, after Lindsey moved to New York, she did not abide by this new sexual ethic.
I think there are a lot of people entering the dating world who are jaded with what a lot of churches and purity culture promises you," she added.
While the backlash might be true for some subsets of evangelicals, according to the NAE poll, most Christians attributed their sexual activity to culture, followed by lacking a strong biblical foundation and "living in the moment."The Church is following secular culture opposed to leading by example Lisa Anderson, who is the director of Boundless, Focus on the Family's singles and young adults ministries, said that she was not surprised at Christians' high tolerance for premarital sex."Generally, if you look at the dating landscape in the church today, it looks very similar to that of the world.
"After all, when the Scriptures were written, the people during that time got married when they were teens; so they didn't have to struggle with sexual temptation like we do now." In response to Rob's argument, Cindy found Scriptures about sexual purity and showed them to him. After all, we can just pick and choose the parts of Scripture that we want to believe on sexual purity, right? For example, if sex before marriage is okay because people supposedly can't control themselves, then it must be okay to engage in pornography, too, right?
When Cindy read 1 Corinthians 6:9, 2 Corinthians , Galatians , Hebrews 13:4 and Deuteronomy -28, all which condemn sex before marriage, she asked Rob, "Are these Scriptures relevant to today? After all, the temptation to watch and participate in porn abounds like it didn't in Bible times.
There were phrases like 'Don't date unless you're ready to get married' or at the age where you can support yourself on your own.