I gave up on dating book
I gave up on dating book
When I was a 20-something single, I already knew which kind of woman I wanted to be: the hopeful kind.
I have also met single women of the same age — like Jackie — who are filled with joy, peace and hope."So holding onto the hope that marriage was still possible and that God would provide a husband did not come easily. To protect myself from disappointment, I turned the very real hurt of singleness into a joke or a sarcastic comment. And it certainly didn't make me any more attractive to the guys in my life.So as I entered my 30s, I made the conscious decision to remain hopeful and to fight for hope even if it meant I would be disappointed or might die still waiting for a spouse.As I asked singles (and those who married after a period of extended singleness) about the benefits of keeping hope alive, answers ranged from, "It simply feels better" to "I don't want to have regrets later" to "It's attractive to others." A few responses stood out to me.Here are their stories: Alex struggled with his singleness throughout his 20s, suffering a rocky three-year relationship followed by a broken engagement.I knew it wouldn't always be easy or fun, but my prayer was that God would give me the strength to remain hopeful." As I entered my 30s without a boyfriend in sight, I also chose hope. I often reminded myself of Romans 5:5, which says, "And hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us." I didn't have to worry about appearing foolish as I hoped for marriage.
Not only that, but I had a close, personal friend to help me: the Holy Spirit.
"Culturally, I think we tend to go one of two directions: desperation or giving up," she says.
"But God is a God of hope, and to give up on hope just because we can't see the next step is actually giving up faith.
Here's the thing: Giving up on a godly desire (when God hasn't obviously taken that desire from you) is a form of escapism.
Rather than sitting in the pain of unfulfilled longings — continuing to hope that God will come through for you — you take the less painful route of "choosing" the alternative.
"Well, I'm glad I won't have children," she said lightly, taking a sip of coffee. God knows I couldn't handle it." My single friend's admission that she had already given up on having children — at age 31 — surprised me.